How men get socialized into being overtly sexual

• You're a kid. Your sister's a kid. One evening, all of a sudden, your father shouts at her for wearing 'indecent' clothes.

Boom! Your sister now becomes a girl! Now there's this whole new side to her. And you begin noticing her clothes each day after that.

• You get up in the morning and pick up a newspaper, because its considered 'intellectual' to do so. Somewhere at the top, overlapping on the paper's name is the photo of a model whose breasts are popping out of her dress and the headline pretty much describes just that!

That's it! You are fascinated with that visual. Its new but interesting! Are slim models and actresses hot, you wonder?

• You go to school. In the recess, you see all your friends huddled around one phone, some staring, some giggling. Out of curiosity, you join the gang! A porn video plays on that phone! Its the first time you have seen something like this. You feel gross! You want to puke! You turn away, but somehow still keep turning back. The video is violent. The woman is being violated, the camera zooms on her genitals, she seems to be in pain, but the man seems to be enjoying that.

Woah! You feel strange, almost repulsed. But a faint tingle within tells you that perhaps women enjoy being dominated and are extremely comfortable with nudity!

• You go out to play in the evening! You're having plain, simple fun! A girl drives by on a scooter. All the boys turn around, some whistle, some growl! Jokes are made on her.

You learn that this is normal. This becomes a trend! On the roads, in a group, then in your mind and all through your life!

• You sit with your family at night. You watch TV. A Bollywood song comes on. The hero and heroine kiss, your mom rushes to pick the remote and in a jiffy, switches to another channel.

You get a signal! You think kissing and all 'those' things are bad! But somehow, that forbidden status pushes you to think about it further. You think you should never let anyone know what you're actually thinking!

• You grow up! You drive. You're conscious, more alive than ever! You see these huge boards plastered around the whole city. Lots of stuff being sold! You see a huge board, its a car ad. And there's a tall, slim, fair girl in a short dress right next to the car.

You think, yeah, you've had it right all along, 'such' girls are hot and anything can be sold by having such a girl sell it!

• You go to College! Your hormones are raging, you're a mad bull! You eye each girl around you. Most of them seem rather usual. Some look like those girls from the newspapers, the billboards, the movies.

You think WOW! Finally you have access to them! You remember, they were the ones who you consider the hottest! You're scared, nervous, not sure what you want to do, but you just want to get close to them. And oh yeah, you remember that they are the most sexual!

• You phone is now your best friend! And Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp have taken over your life! You suddenly feel that all girls and even boys look a lot better online! There's a competition! You feel compelled to participate!

You feel its a race, you compete with other boys and just cant stop eyeing the girls who win!

• Your friend gets married. She was barely 20. Just a few days ago, she was a happy, bright young girl with hopes and dreams and now she's someone's wife. Somewhere through this, she discreetly tells you that maybe she wanted something different, but doesn't have a choice.

You learn that marriage is compulsory, it isn't far away, and that everyone, but especially girls don't really have a say in it!

• A year passes. Your friend has reduced contact with you, you hardly talk. Another friend of yours told you sometime ago that her husband doesn't like her talking to her guy friends any longer.

You lose your friend, she becomes a woman all of a sudden. And one beyond bounds at that! You learn that a husband can control his wife and that once a girl is with someone else, you cant even be friends with her!

• A few months later, you hear she got pregnant! Her in-laws now insist that she stays at home and gives up her ambitions of a post-grad and a career after it. But her husband, who was otherwise an ordinary guy, has now joined the family business!

You are now sure that a woman has to give birth soon after marriage and her sole responsibility is to take care of her kids, her husband and in-laws and that a man has to work and earn.

• You return home that night and your dad comes to you in a rather serious tone. You feel anxious and curiously wait with bated breath! "Its time for you to get married", he announces...

This is how males are socialized into being so overtly sexual! This is also the anatomy of patriarchy and gender harassment! Unfortunately, amidst rhetoric and discussions on symptoms, these root causes consistently stay out of the discourse!