“It took me so much success to become humble”

…were words said to me years ago by a writer friend.

I got it gradually.

But it’s only now that I’ve begun looking beyond what he said - understanding the pre-step to humility.

If humility was the destination, being compulsorily boastful couldn’t have been the second-last stage. That had to have been the beginning.

Being comfortable with who you are, not policing yourself while speaking, while doing, while being - that must’ve been the penultimate step.

Humility is as much of an act as being boastful. It says - I am underplaying myself. Because I can afford to. Because you’re doing it for me. Either way, I’m still reaping the rewards!

Appropriately representing oneself - is the larger space I’ve begun entering these days. And getting there was so much harder than it sounds.

Underrepresenting the self always felt like the right thing to do. Overrepresenting felt wrong, but also something I ended up doing when I was devoid of success altogether. Not having to think of either, just being who I am, now feels the most liberating.

Kya baat boli jaa rahi hain, woh maayne nahi rakhti. Kaun bol raha hain, woh maayna rakhta hain - That invisible but unavoidable power dynamic is at the root of this syndrome…